American Ants: a Transatlantic Tangle

The story had started out believably enough: three ants walking along the sidewalk.

This my five year old self could understand. I had seen plenty of ants walking along in a line in our garden in Uganda. That they should choose to do so on a side walk in Baltimore was quite believable.

The first clue I had that all was not as one might expect it to be, was when the ants stopped walking and started reading the railway timetable.

From experience I knew that occasionally grown-up conversations let slip pieces of information that are extremely valuable to a five year old who is trying to picture the mysterious world of adults. This was promising to be one of those conversations. I started paying attention.

Mr Taylor described how the ants had climbed on board the train and set off on their journey. They had conversations, ordered dinner in the dining car and argued over who would take the lower berth.

“When my ants arrived in New York they … ”

Mr Taylor leaped in my estimation – he actually owned these amazing creatures! They must be his pets. The best pet I had ever had was our dog, Buster. What must it be like to own some talking ants! I had to be sure. I couldn't keep silent another second.

“Were they real ants?” I blurted out.

The conversations around me died away. There suddenly seemed to be a lot of grown-ups looking at me.

Finally my Dad spoke. There was a suspicious sort of wrinkling around his mouth and eyes but his voice was kind. “Aunts, Rob, they were Mr Taylor's aunts.”

Well I don't suppose it's the first time accents have defied comprehension, or trans-atlantic conversations been mis-interpreted. And as you see, Mr Taylor's ants made a lasting impression on me.

So when I tell you that part of our Ant Fund is busy in America I hope you will understand that there are no relatives involved! The money will be used in the quick turn-around market, with nary an aunt in sight.

This market works because we have two components in place: a contact who is buying a good quantity of houses every month and has the reputation of being able to complete on a quick sale, (therefore receives the best discounts) and a bank of investors who are wanting to buy one or two houses for their portfolios (with ready funds but not buying enough to command bulk-buy discounts).

There is a small spread between our buying and selling price, and that is where the profit lies. It's not a big enough spread to be exciting in a country where buying and selling can take months, but our dear American cousins are more efficient in these matters so we can do both transactions in a month or so. That means several turn-arounds each year, and over time all those little profits add up to something useful both for our ants and us!

The Ant Fund is still able to pay 7% pa on funds invested for 12 months. So if you're not sure how well the economy will do over the next 12 months you can dip into the Ant Fund for a year secure in the knowledge that, should things change for the better, your funds will be available to you again quite quickly.

The Ant Fund has a monthly intake so you've still time to get into the June fund.

And just to be clear: if your accent suggests that ants are aunts, in this case they aren't!